Humility

Yes, folks it is the time for me to talk about the number one thing I learned on my mission. HUMILITY. Sadly, maybe I didn't learn it as well as I hoped I did while in New York because it looks as if I am learning it all over again. I guess in a different way.
On the mission I was pretty prideful. I studied President Benson's talk Beware of Pride. I read the Christlike attributes chapter in Preach My Gospel quite a bit. I had a few conversations with my mission president about this one fault of mine. I think I learned on the mission how my pride effected my teaching career. I learned what I could do better to let go of that pride. I learned to ask for help from those closest to me. I learned to let it go, and not say anything. I learned to say, "I'm sorry." I learned to rely on the Lord in my greatest time of need. I learned how Charity and Love counter-act pride and how humility keeps us in check. Most of the success I met with as a missionary came when I worked hard to control my pride. My biggest struggles was when I let it come out.
How does this information play out right now? I have been frustrated with the whole job search thing. I don't know why I thought it would be any different from the first time I searched for a teaching job. It took time, even in an economy that had plenty of teaching jobs. But, I know I ended up with the job I was supposed to have. I needed that chance to struggle, to be on my own, to learn and to loose. All before I went on a mission. I needed to be able to see what happened and how I could fix it. I don't think the lesson on being more Christlike would have been as deep rooted IF it wasn't for my failures in the teaching world. I needed to learn to be more like Christ. I STILL need to become more like Him. I guess in a way I have this attitude of, "I know better. I went on a mission, I learned all these great things. I will be the best teacher ever. You should hire me. Oh, and the Lord needs to give me this blessing because I am a RM." In my mind an interview I had with my mission president keeps coming to my head where he basically told me I shouldn't think that serving a mission will get me a job. I look at that conversation now and I think about what is going on and I realize. It isn't supposed to be easy for me. But, I also know I will get a job. I just need to be humble.
I went to the temple this week searching for answers. I had an hour of time to just reflect on life and to read the scriptures. I started reading in The Doctrine and Covenants where I had left off the night before. I love this book. Even though it isn't written for me directly, I am still able to learn many different things from it. The section I was reading was to Thomas B. Marsh Sec. 112. In verse 10 The Lord tells Thomas, "Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead they by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers." Then it hit me. I am not being humble about everything. I need to have confidence, yes. But, I need to rely on the Lord a little more. In Preach My Gospel it says, "Humility is willingness to submit to the will of the Lord and to give the Lord the honor for what is accomplished. It includes gratitude for His blessings and acknowledgment of your constant need for His divine help. Humility is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of spiritual strength. When you humbly trust Him and acknowledge His power and mercy, you can have the assurance that His commandments are for your good. You are confident that you can do whatever the Lord requires of you if you rely on Him. You are also willing to trust His chosen servants and follow their counsel. Humility will help you as you strive to be obedient, to work hard, and serve selflessly."
I realized I am putting the Lord 2nd if not 3rd in my life. He needs to be back in the 1st place spot. Now that I have a car I can get to the temple more often to reflect on what is important and search for answers. I also need to remember my calling and not treat it like it is below me. I need to study the scriptures more, and earlier. I need to go to bed at a decent hour and wake up at a decent time. I am hoping in the next few weeks I can at least bridle my pride and put more trust in the Lord and follow His counsel. He knows me and knows what is best. He will guide me to it. I have decided if it is the job He wants me to have, I will get it. I know that job is out there. I just have to be patient (another difficult attribute), and humble. He will answer my prayers.