Frustration

At least my frustration is coming from oneside today or this week instead of twenty. My team, I keep wondering about the smarts I had to sign up to work with them again next year. They do a behavior reward one day a quarter, as of right now I don't know that it is happening today. Oh wait, I should say as of right now I don't know that they are in the middle of it. No one ever told me. I need to say something I know, but I don't really want to. I am sick of the fight. Next year I think I am going to do it all on my own. I can't deal with them and having the same issues coming up again and again.
In all honesty I look up to these two teachers, they know their stuff. I just don't like the fact that I feel like I am in Jr. High or Elementary where three friends can't handle playing together. I want to work with them. It was never my intention to not work well with them. I also would like to learn things from them. They really are great teachers and they can teach me so much, but they won't.
Okay I am going to stop complaining about them. And end on a positive note, my class, except for the talking thing, they are doing so well, they are almost half way to the points they need for the party. It is absolutly wonderful. I have to say that I have the best class ever! And I am so happy they are my class.

Field Trip Day

We have a field trip today. Along with that it is the first day of Spring, and we are going on Spring Break tomorrow. YEA! I finally get a break and I am so excited.
Tomorrow is a teacher work day, and I am going to get rid of some of the stuff I was left by the teacher before me. I don't want or need a lot of it. I did find some gems yesterday though. Compasses and protractors. I wish I would have known where they were two months ago.
Other than that things are moving forward. I finally got the courage to tell my team that I was clueless about the going on's around here. I think it will be better for me in the long run. I haven't cried recently, I wanted to on Friday than I just reminded myself to make it through the rest of the week and I get three days without students.
I was talking to a parent yesterday the child is failing and the mom doesn't want her to fail because the dad it seems is abusive and he will freak out if the child fails. Honestly I don't know what to think about it all. I really could careless if the child fails. What I care about is that the child learns the skills they need to make it in seventh grade. My principal keeps reminding me about the fact that grades are disposed of after 6th grade. They really don't care until they get into 9th grade. So, my thought make the dad happy and give the student all passing grades. Then help the kid get more organized so they can succeed during the other school years. The mom doesn't really agree with that plan she wants the girl to do all the work she is missing so she can not fail this quarter. I say right now, bag the grades for the kid. Give the fake grades to the dad. Get the kid some study skills and try for a better 4th quarter.
It is now March 22, 2008. As I was preparing grades yesterday I realized I had a lot of students failing. The reason, absences. I wish my students understood what being absent had done to them. Not only in not getting homework turned in, but in giving them the skills they need for other concepts. It is hard to see it. I did make sure the one student was getting D's in everything. . .I am going to talk to her personally on Monday, and see if we can light a fire for this semester. The others I want the parents to see what 15 or even 5 absences does to their child. I know the kids have been really sick and all that, but what about the fact they aren't turning in the work or they don't care to when they come back. It is hard to see a straight A student go to F's in two quarters. As I wrote that I realized how worried I should be. So, I am going to talk to this kid and to their parents and see what I can do to help. This job has so many ups and downs it is incredible. It also has its amazing rewards. I am so grateful this is my job.

Things that roll:

Correcting papers from my lovely students. The question was write words associated with the topic of things that roll here are some of my favorites:
eyes, dice, yo-yo, dough, clay, me (the student, not me. . . even though I have on occasion), humans, and anything spherical.
Yeah, there are the smart-alec comments and the really thoughtful ones too. But they were funny and they made my day. So, I thought I would share.

Hmmmm. . .

I cried in my classroom today.

Not a good sign.

2 months, I hope I can make it.

Parents. . .

I have had some experience dealing with difficult parents. Those who think their child is always right no matter what. I was thinking everything was fine, that the parents in my class are just as great as my students. I have decided it isn't so. I just took time on my Sunday night to check my school email and I had two emails from two separate parents. One the child is always full of drama and the mom and I are working through it and talking before it gets out of hand. The other, I think the parents think I don't like their child. When in fact that child has won me over. The student isn't doing so great right now, they have been sick a couple of times this quarter, which is most of my class, and is missing work because of it. This child is working so hard not to be unprepared. There hasn't been any alarm, because they haven't really been unprepared. Then report cards come out (midterms about two week late, that is my fault) and he is missing work and the parents freak and hope that is will be taken care of. Or what? You go to my principal and tell him I am failing your child and I can look at the principal and tell him the child has been absent a couple of weeks this quarter. It hurts the child to be absent. I also don't sit and hold the student's hands when they need to turn stuff in. I have 25 people to look after, I don't know every single assignment that hasn't been turned in. I guess I could have saved myself all the heartache and not required signatures from the parents on the progress reports. But then I don't get the pressure from parents to get stuff turned in.
I have to constantly remind myself, I signed up for this. I was the one who chose to be a teacher. But, I signed up so I could be with the kids teaching them. Not so I could deal with parents.

Personal Life Vs. Work Life. . .

I have found out that Personal life wins. No matter how much I don't want school to be affected by my dating, friends, and other aspects of my personal life, it is. I didn't realize this until as I sat back these past two days having the gumption to finally do what I need to do to get ready for the week at school. And also having the mind set to wake up when I used to before all the junk took over. The junk is now gone, or it is on its way out. And for the first time in weeks, I feel truly happy. It is such a nice feeling. I will admit all the emotional junk has given me a headache and I wanted to scream on Monday. However, today I was able to manage and not yell at the kids for constantly whispering.
I think the one thing that has kept me moving forward in all of this is the fact those kids need me everyday. I can't just slack off for one day because the boy is ignoring me or because the boy I don't want to go out with has asked me out again. Or because I was getting dumped on by other people's emotional baggage. Honestly some of my favorite things is seeing their faces, and hearing them get excited because their reading group gets to be with me, and they get to talk to me. Or to watch them as their brains are working things out, like "What would happen if the world just stopped spinning?" "What would happen if the sun burned out?" Yeah, these were questions asked by my sixth graders as I am trying to make sure they understand it is the tilt of the axis that causes seasons. They blow my mind away sometimes. I am so grateful to them for the fact they are putting up with the new teacher who has no idea what she is doing sometimes.
The one thing I know for sure is the fact that I love those kids and they are the best thing in my life.