I have found out that Personal life wins. No matter how much I don't want school to be affected by my dating, friends, and other aspects of my personal life, it is. I didn't realize this until as I sat back these past two days having the gumption to finally do what I need to do to get ready for the week at school. And also having the mind set to wake up when I used to before all the junk took over. The junk is now gone, or it is on its way out. And for the first time in weeks, I feel truly happy. It is such a nice feeling. I will admit all the emotional junk has given me a headache and I wanted to scream on Monday. However, today I was able to manage and not yell at the kids for constantly whispering.
I think the one thing that has kept me moving forward in all of this is the fact those kids need me everyday. I can't just slack off for one day because the boy is ignoring me or because the boy I don't want to go out with has asked me out again. Or because I was getting dumped on by other people's emotional baggage. Honestly some of my favorite things is seeing their faces, and hearing them get excited because their reading group gets to be with me, and they get to talk to me. Or to watch them as their brains are working things out, like "What would happen if the world just stopped spinning?" "What would happen if the sun burned out?" Yeah, these were questions asked by my sixth graders as I am trying to make sure they understand it is the tilt of the axis that causes seasons. They blow my mind away sometimes. I am so grateful to them for the fact they are putting up with the new teacher who has no idea what she is doing sometimes.
The one thing I know for sure is the fact that I love those kids and they are the best thing in my life.
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