What Do You Do in the Summer Time?

This summer has been kind of interesting. I cleaned out my classroom. Turned in my keys. Went to a writing class (which I LOVED). Sent my mission papers in.
Went to Core Academy and got pattern blocks, and made this:

And this:

This:

This:

And This:

This:

This one:

This:

This:

And a few more but these are my favorites.
When I get my call, I will let you all know where I am going. If you want to make guesses go ahead, just so you know there are somewhere around 370 missions. That is a lot of places to try and guess from.

My Side is Finished and Other Random Thoughts

My side of the paperwork is finished. And now, it is time for me to wait. Wait for the bishop, stake president etc. But apparently I am really doing this.

Now off to another topic. Last week and this week I have been busily acting like nothing is different. And I will be teaching next year. I will have spent a total of 59 hours in a classroom. Learning and getting new ideas for teaching. The one I went to last week was non-grade specific and all about writing, and it gave me an outlet. The one I am at this week is one of my favorite things the state does, CORE Academy. The problem, it is grade specific and I am bored. I love 3rd grade, but there are science and math cores that I love more. . . can you guess. I miss the higher order thinking in 6th grade, and the in depth study of science topics. I REALLY miss it. If I would have been smart enough I would have asked if I could change grade levels. . . but I wasn't. Oh well, if nothing else it will show that I have an interest in increasing my knowledge about ways to teach.

I cried today. The first time in about 3 weeks I have cried about my job. I was talking to a good friend of mine, who went through school with me, and my job situation came up again. A newer friend of mine was there and she just had to mention that her sister was non-renewed and "It has never been the same for her." I just have to remember the Lord is on my side. That I am really trying to do His will. I will be blessed for going on a mission. And Satan wants me to be discouraged so I give up all together. I also have to remember I am not the only teacher in the state of Utah to loose their job.

Last of all. . . President Uchtdorf. I have fallen in LOVE with his Priesthood talk from April Conference. If you haven't read it I strongly suggest you do. I was listening to it on my long drive home and I fell in love again. To finish off my ramblings here are some gems from this talk:
"Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being 'willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.' . . .if we wait patiently for the Lord, He will incline unto us. He will hear our cries."

"Every one of us is called to wait in our own way. We wait for answers to prayers. We wait for things which at the time may appear so right and so good to us that we can’t possibly imagine why Heavenly Father would delay the answer. . . The answer didn’t come immediately. But eventually I learned that God’s promises are not always fulfilled as quickly as or in the way we might hope; they come according to His timing and in His ways."

"Never give up on anyone. And that includes not giving up on yourself."

When Your Older. . .

There is a Fray song that I love called Trust Me. I used the lyrics for a Wordle that is on the right sidebar. This song has a line that repeats as it fades out-- "When your older you might understand." I was thinking about that line and what it means in my life right now. When I'm older I might understand: why I lost my job, why I'm not supposed to teach right now, why I am going on a mission. I don't think I am ever supposed to fully know and understand what is going on in my life and where it is going.
I am going on a mission. My papers should be completed by the end of the week. I should be getting my call sometime in July. This was a hard decision for me to make. I know it is the best one but it was hard nonetheless. And as my options for getting a new job decressed, I just felt as if I was led into this. I'm 28. I think that is what I am having the hardest time with. I know it is perfectly acceptable for a 28 year old girl to go on a mission. But, I still feel I am old. I have looked back on what has happened the last two months and I can see the Lord's hand in it. This is where he wants me. This is what he feels is best for me. And honestly, I wouldn't have done it if he just whispered, "Go on a mission." I needed to be pushed into something I never thought I would get the opportunity to do once I started my teaching career. So, I am just going to trust him. And when I am Older I might understand.

The Lord is My Light!

Life has taken a very interesting turn for me. Nothing is going the way I thought it would 9 months ago. I was full of hope, worry, joy, and love for my job and what was going on. I felt that I could do anything, so I decided I was going to start on my masters degree. I wanted to finish it quickly so I took two classes. I had an observation with my principal in January, after which I was told either I fix some areas or there wouldn't be a place for me at my school next year. I worked really hard for two and a half months. I think from the beginning I knew what was going to happen. It was too late. The damage had been done. Three weeks ago I was told my contract would not be renewed for next year. I've spent a lot of tears on this. So many that my principal actually told me not to cry anymore. I've been stressed, worried and unsure about what to do next. I still am not sure what is going to happen. I could be moving somewhere in Utah. I could be moving to a different state. I thought about giving up on the profession, decided it wasn't what I wanted. I also thought about teaching out of the country, until I looked up the requirements to teach somewhere else and realized that wasn't worth it. Or I could be going on a mission. This is really starting to become a Good, Better, Best decision.
I have thought for three weeks about posting this and talking about it, but I needed to come to terms with it. I am heartbroken. I LOVE my school, team, and kids. I was looking forward to seeing my students next year and being able to say hi to them everyday. But, I know the Lord has a plan for me. That he has many blessings in store if I am faithful. I am trying to match my will to His right now. My mentor came into my room last week and we were talking about everything and she told me, "I always come in here expecting to leave sad. But, it hasn't been that way." I think it is the fact that I know my Father in Heaven loves me and that he really does know what is best for me in my life right now. It isn't always what I want but I know He has a plan for me. I know that everything is going to workout. That He is going to help me move forward. That in His strength I can do anything. What glorious truths the gospel brings! The Lord is my light! He will guide me through all of this and through the decisions I have to make. But, I could still use your prayers and faith that I'll be able to make the decisions and act on them.

Laughter is the Best Medicine!

My class was playing heads-up, seven-up. I have a few kids who like to hide their faces while playing in order to "hide" who they touched. I was trying to get them to stop. . . the following conversation ensued:
Miss. D: A, I can't see your face!
(Another student stands up in my line of sight. A removes his hands from his face.)
A: Of course not! L is in the way!
(L sits down. A has his hands on his face again.)
Miss. D: A, I really can't see your face this time.
(Looking through his fingers)
A: But I can see yours!

I just had to laugh. Oh, the bright moments during rough times! I LOVE MY CLASS!

Twist and Turns

Sometimes life seems to be headed straight. Everything seems perfect and wonderful and you feel like you could keep going in that direction forever. That is how I thought my life was. Everything was going perfectly fine. I was teaching at a great school with a great team, a wonderful principal, good friends, and plans. Then the curve started. I can't really tell you what happened, at least not yet, and what is happening next. All I know is God has a different plan for me, at least for a while. Someday I hope to get to experience this whole life is the way I want when I want it to be that way, again. But now isn't the time.

By the way. . . anyone want a 2009 Toyota Corolla Sport? I'll take care of the recalls.

Austen, Conference and Other Thoughts

I'm Austen crazed. Again. Actually I was just thinking when did it ever stop? Never. I have fallen in love with the new BBC version of Emma. I have watched it everyday since my break started on Thursday. I will admit my watching of movies is doing something else while watching, but I have listened to it over and over again. Watching every minute Knightley is on the scene. I will admit right now. I want a Knightley in my life. My best friend who loves me no matter what, who will tell me when I am being foolish and help me feel better when I am sad. But, that isn't in God's plan for me right now. I just have to keep moving forward. Praying, trying my hardest to submit my will to His, and working on those things He feels is what I need in my life. Then, eventually, Knightley will come into my life and all have a whole new set of problems to deal with. For now I will just have to live through the Austen novels/movies that I have fallen in love with and have read forever.

Now on to Conference. I love this weekend. I love the feeling of peace, that often causes sleep. I love the talks. I love the answers. I love everything about sitting and listening to the prophets speak. How lucky we are! To have the will of the Lord given to us by His mouthpiece every 6 months. I had some questions that needed answering. And answered they were! Through out life's trials I need to remember how much my Heavenly Father loves me. One quote that I ALMOST missed and then my brain went, "WRITE THAT DOWN!" Was the answer. The comfort. The one thing I needed right now. It was, "A little pain now will protect you from greater pain later." -- James. B. Maratino. I thought about all the little pains I am having in my life right now. Feelings of failure in teaching and in being a student. Wondering if my life is going where it needs to go. Then I thought about this quote again and again and I realized that even though I have these little pains. In the long run it is what the Lord wants for me. It is His will, and it will protect me. Does it mean that everything will go exactly as I want it too? Absolutely not. But as long as I allow Heavenly Father to be at the helm in my life then I have nothing to fear.

Last other thoughts. There is a girl's choice dance coming up at the institute. Most of my friends are going and they want me to go too. Little do they now I lost all pleasure in dances 7 years ago. I don't want to take the time to find a date, to dress up. Actually, while it would be nice to go on a date I don't really feel a strong desire to. I took this question with me to conference about wanting to date and if it really is important. Needless to say the answer came in all the talks about family, and how important it is to teach your children. etc. Yeah, so dating is important. But I don't want to. Or maybe it comes to I lack in skills to get a date. But, it also is I just don't have the desire. I've felt this way before and I have gotten counsel on the fact I need to date. I guess the question I am posing for everyone out there is: How can a girl, who feels it is the boys responsibility to ask, get a date? Or even better get the motivation to flirt/date? Let me know what you think. Oh, and I am not going to the dance.