When Your Older. . .

There is a Fray song that I love called Trust Me. I used the lyrics for a Wordle that is on the right sidebar. This song has a line that repeats as it fades out-- "When your older you might understand." I was thinking about that line and what it means in my life right now. When I'm older I might understand: why I lost my job, why I'm not supposed to teach right now, why I am going on a mission. I don't think I am ever supposed to fully know and understand what is going on in my life and where it is going.
I am going on a mission. My papers should be completed by the end of the week. I should be getting my call sometime in July. This was a hard decision for me to make. I know it is the best one but it was hard nonetheless. And as my options for getting a new job decressed, I just felt as if I was led into this. I'm 28. I think that is what I am having the hardest time with. I know it is perfectly acceptable for a 28 year old girl to go on a mission. But, I still feel I am old. I have looked back on what has happened the last two months and I can see the Lord's hand in it. This is where he wants me. This is what he feels is best for me. And honestly, I wouldn't have done it if he just whispered, "Go on a mission." I needed to be pushed into something I never thought I would get the opportunity to do once I started my teaching career. So, I am just going to trust him. And when I am Older I might understand.