Why I Teach

This has been a question I have been asking myself lately. Why am I a teacher? Is this really the job for me? I have a major fault when it comes to being a teacher and that is my temper. Anyone who has known me for any length of time would be able to say that I really let it get the best of me sometimes. It was a lot worst when I was growing up. But, I have learned to control it. There is another fault that ties right with this one, and that is I wear my emotions on my sleeve. So, you know when I am in a bad mood, a good mood, or I am indifferent.
These faults have made this year difficult for me. I have so many problems with my team and within my classroom that within the first few months I came off mean and not sympathetic. I think there are two reasons for this. I feel like I need to prove myself, and also because I don't know what to do half of the time.
So, over the past few weeks this temper has come to bite me. I found out that a couple of the boys in my class were doing things to make me mad and then they were recording me when I finally broke. The situation has been taken care of. Luckily for me I have two administrators who would like to see me succeed and do the best I can. I've tried to not loose the temper lately and to be happy and everything but you can only do that for so long. It is really hard when the two boys who were fighting on Friday, fight again on Monday. It really just wears on you. So, I was in a bad mood on Monday and I was mean again. As I watched a note being passed from one student to the other I went and got it and the one crumpled it up. I read it and it said, "Don't you just hate Miss. Duncan? She is so mean." "Yeah, you've just figured that out?" OUCH! But, I took it in stride. Just looked at them and said, "You really don't know me."
Fast Forward 24 hours. I had just returned to my classroom and I sat at my desk, looked at the mess and sighed. . . (It is a huge mess. Surprise, surprise.) Then I notice a note on my desk and there is a smiley face on it. I open it up and it is from one of the students who passed the note. Telling me she was sorry, but not really, because there are somethings that she doesn't like about the class and school. But then she told me one thing she does like, I let my students be themselves. And she has really come out of her shell because of it. And I will be one of her favorite teachers because of it.
Just that one note made it worth every tear I've shed this year, every moment I have fought with my team, and every bad day. That is why I am a teacher. To help my students become who they are meant to be.