I put myself in a situation this week where I feel I caused myself a lot of unnecessary heartbreak. I have this friend who I really wanted to date. I liked (like) him a lot. Well, about a year ago he decided he didn't believe in the LDS church anymore and lost all sight of his goals. I have distanced myself from him a little bit for my sake. I have really struggled since I found out about the choice he made. My testimony has wavered a bit. Not a good situation for me. I still want this friend to know I care about him, no matter what choices he has made. So, every once and a while I will call or text just to see how he is doing. Sometimes he chooses to answer sometimes not. This week he did, and he wanted to come and see my hair. So, I spent about an hour talking to him at my house. Where I found out he is ready to reach for some of those goals he put on his shelf. But, he is still not ready to believe in those truths he turned his back on. Then I had the chance to hang out with a group of my friends on Saturday and he was there. I tried to avoid him, but I am drawn to him and his personality. So, here I was on Sunday trying to force myself to remember why I need to stay away from him.
There was also a situation with my team at school. They are being my team and actually have no backbone. However, finding out what I was told was a shock to my system.
I finally feel like I have a strong testimony again. But here my social and professional life are falling apart. Why can't it ever work out that they are all the same? I was sitting in Sunday School and the lesson was on Mormon 1-6, and Moroni 9. The teacher kept us jumping from scripture to scripture. I am kind of feeling frustrated, not wanting to be in Sunday School. Then we are asked to turn to Mosiah 2:41. I pretty much flipped right to it and I raised my hand to read:
"And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."
Half way through the scripture the spirit hit me in a way that a scripture hasn't hit in a long time. Here the Lord is telling me his blessing will come I just need to keep the commandments. I know this is true. But, it hurts. I have to grow a bit and allow the Lord to take my life in His hands. I have been trying to justify things in my life for a long time now. I need to stop justifying and face what I know is true. My Heavenly Father loves me. He knows me better than I know myself. No matter the situation he will bless me. He wants me to be happy and in whatever it takes me to be happy he will provide it, as long as I am willing to accept it.
2 comments:
That is a neat scripture. I remember a seminary teacher that used to always point out whenever something was repeated. In the scriptures, and everywhere else I guess, you repeat something for emphasis. In this case, the Lord wants you to "remember, remember that these things are true." I hope things get better for you. Hang in there and remember I love you and so does Heavenly Father!
Hey girl, I am always here for you. You have been a great blessing in my life. I love you to death! Please call when you need to chat. I am usually up really late still, hahaha...I promise not to fall asleep.
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